Quiddity
by siewkiang
Summary: What will a girl do when she finds out her boyfriend is a werewolf? Based on Twilight, AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I only claim to own the plot and Adam and Alley. I would love to own Twilight though. :(

**A/N**: Edward and Bella are appearing in Chapter 3 I think... they're shy. D:

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** Quiddity**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

Jesse McCartney's voice droned in my head. I had no idea why that song affected me that much. It was just another pop song, right? I rolled about on my bed, a hand groping for my cell phone, which was blaring the offensive song, which meant I had a new message. Weird, I didn't remember setting this song as my message tone.

"I shouldn't love you, but I want to."

"I just can't turn away."

"I shouldn't see you, but I can't move."

"I can't look away."

I narrowed my eyes at the screen, sighing in relief as the song stopped. I had a message from... Adam? I blinked, rubbing my eyes. Adam? I lept out of bed, chewing on my nails while sitting on the edge of my bed. My phone was in other palm, looking every bit as abhorrent as a dead rat. I swallowed, hands trembling ever so slightly as I clicked "Show" to read the contents of the message. Each word I read jumped out of the screen and forced themselves into my pupils, etching themselves into my brain.

"I'm back. Meet me at the usual spot at 5pm today?"

Back? Tears started to well up in my eyes, the searing pain which was so familiar, yet as painful as the first time I'd experienced it, returned. My chest hurts, bad. It was as though someone was using an invisible hammer to rip my heart out, from the inside. I thought I would grow immune to the pain, but no, I never did get use to the pain, never did get used to the grief. My body heaved, and I collapsed onto the bed, shaking with inconsolable grief as the tears starting flowing, the pain continuing; my sobs smothered by my pillow. I had no idea how long I lay there, not that I had anything to do. The holidays were already in full swing, yet I felt no joy. Just...the same emptiness which filled me.

How does emptiness fill someone, even? My pillow was tear-soaked, and smelt salty, probably did taste salty. My sobs earlier on had been subdued, but the tears did not stop, neither did the pain. I curled up into a ball, arms clutching my knees to my chest, wanting to close up the hole the invisible hammer had created, trying to hold myself together. It helped, a little, just like I knew it would. I stayed in that fetal position, snuggling under the blanket, attempting to create a womb for myself; to protect myself.

The tears stopped; the pain stopped. I was breathing heavily now, shoulders heaving. I uncurled, throwing my blanket off. I was drenched in sweat; I sweat far too easily, maybe I should get a more potent deodorant. I glanced at the clock, and froze. 3.49pm. Had I really been in bed that long? A book fell heavily to the ground, landing spine first. I remember now, I had been reading that book all night, and probably morning. I couldn't remember when I fell asleep, or which page I stopped at.

Kicking the book aside, I rushed into the bathroom and ran a comb through my short auburn hair, cussing each time I hit a tangle, which was pretty much the whole time, then washed my face and brushed my teeth, before washing my face another time. I made a face, a finger poking at my puffed up lids.

"Ugh," I grimaced, looking at my forlorn reflection. I changed into a pair of black slacks and a long sleeved white sweater, almost forgetting about my agenda for changing. My phone started blaring the song once more and I cussed all the way till I reached my phone, punching the button to read whatever message I'd received hard.

"5pm, at the usual spot. Please come, Alley..."

It sounded so...desperate. I scowled at my phone, biting on my lower lip.

Everything was moving quickly afterwards, I vaguely remember walking out through the door, leaving a note on the fridge to tell my mom where I'd been. She'd probably be home soon, so I decided to leave the keys at home.

I walked the way to our spot, where Adam and I had first met. It was not exactly a pleasant experience. I slowed down a little more, knowing I would reach there in fifteen minutes. A gentle wind started blowing, just like on the day we met...

I was checking the stuff in my bag, a really bad idea, now that I thought of it. But the street was empty, so I probably will not collide with anyone. Or so I thought. I looked up, satisfied that I had everything in place, just in time to meet the astonished eyes of a boy. I barely had time to yell before my bike crashed hard into him. The sound of the crash probably drowned my yell.

"Oh my gosh!" I staggered to my feet, dragging my feet out from under my bicycle. The boy was sitting down; I hoped it was a good sign. "Are you alright? I mean, are you seeing two of me?" I was blubbering out nonsense, I had to stop. I bit on my tongue, and waited for him to respond. He groaned softly, a hand massaging his temples. "I'm fine...you hit the lamppost and I fell down while jumping out of the way."

Only then I realised my bicycle's front wheel was in front of a lamppost, and it looked pretty wrecked. I picked it up and let it rest against the lamppost, scrutinizing it for extensive damage. I relaxed slightly, shoulders slumping after I realised it only sustained scratches. I turned to the boy, and held out an arm, "Let me help you..." my voice faltered away at the end, eyes staring at the gash on my elbow.

The guy looked up, and I could tell that he was older than me, much too old to be called a boy. He raised his eyebrows at my bleeding elbow, "You seem to be in a worst state than I am." he commented lightly, a hand holding my elbow gently. I nodded, holding my breath and looking away from the gash, attempting to focus on his face.

He had amazing eyes, it was grey, with the slightest tint of blue. It was very hypnotic, I couldn't quite tear myself away. I think I forgot to breathe. Taking a deep breath, however, was a big, big mistake. My stomach lurched as I smelled blood, the mixture of rust and salt with a weird tang infiltrated my nostrils, causing them to flare involuntarily. The pavement before me swayed, and I held on to the lamppost for support.

"Hey! Are you alright?" his voice reached my ears. I felt my head shaking in response, then winced as the action caused the concrete pavement to shake as well. I felt something cold and wet dabbing at my elbow, then a warm bandage was wrapped tightly around it. "Here, do you feel better now?" I breathed in and out slowly, my head turned towards the general direction of the grass. It worked, my head cleared as the earthy smell comforted me, settling my stomach.

"Thanks..." I managed to croak. We sat under the oak tree nearby, resting after our collision, talking as though we were best friends. By the time he was walking me to my house, we knew each other's friends as though they were our own. We left our numbers with each other, promising to call or text often. I smiled to myself, shivering as a sudden gust of wind blew. I tucked my hands into my arms, folding them tightly across my chest as I rounded the corner to walk towards the oak tree a few metres down.

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(to be continued...duh)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **I am so very happy I completed Chapter Two :D! I'm on my way to Chapter Three now, and I swear Chapter Three is much more interesting than these two chapters. I fail at suspense. :(**  
**

**Disclaimer:** I love Twilight! Currently writing my story based on Twilight. :) But it does not belong to me!

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**Quiddity****

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**CHAPTER TWO**

My head snapped up as I saw a shadow pacing impatiently under the oak tree, still several metres away. My heart lurched around wildly as I saw the dark figure; he turned and looked at me, as though he had heard me exhaled sharply, or heard my heart. I was very sure it was hammering against my ribcage then, about to pound it's way through my chest. Adam started to walk towards me, his big strides covering the distance quickly. I broke into a run, and he, the same. We collided, or rather, I collided into his arms, which crushed me to his chest, holding me tightly.

"Alley." he breathed my name, his hug not relenting, still holding me tightly to his chest. I buried my face into his chest, feeling his cheek resting on top of my head. Was he really that tall? I used to be able to lean on his shoulder. My arms flung themselves around his neck, clinging to him desperately, murmuring his name, "Adam."

We stood there for a long time, in each other's embrace. Adam picked me up gently, and carried me to the oak tree, where he settled me down on his lap, leaning against the tree. My arms were still fastened to his neck, nuzzling at his neck. I missed his warmth, his smell, his earthy smell which mingled with the scent of peaches, comforting, yet with the slightest sweet tang. I miss being with him, his voice, everything about him. I gazed into his eyes, realising he'd been staring at me with the weirdest expression. I wasn't very apt at reading emotions, so I blinked slightly to clear my vision, his mesmerising grey eyes pulling me into the same hypnotic pull I felt when I first saw him. Again, I wasn't very sure, but I could see clearly that he looked pained.

I felt the same tearing sensation starting from within my chest, tears already starting to spill past my eyes. I let out a strangled sob, burying my face into his shirt and started bawling loudly, each wail left my body convulsing, shoulders heaving as I breathed hard, arms automatically clutching about my chest, pulling my knees up into the same foetal position earlier on. This time, the clutching didn't help patch the hole in my chest, but my water works were not reduced to a quiet whimper. His arms gripped tighter about me, simply hugging me to his chest while I cried, staining his tan sweater with my tears.

Eventually, I quietened, and I raised my head to look into his eyes, afraid to see the pain I'd seen earlier on. His grey eyes were still pained, though now I saw that he was extremely worried as well. He bent forward and pressed his lips lightly to my forehead. The searing pain was nearly gone, his presence making my heart pound loudly instead. I uncurled slightly, arms immediately wrapping around him, head nestled onto his shoulder.

"You're back..." I whispered softly, so softly he might not have heard it. He stiffened, then nodded. "Yes..." he kissed the top of my head, a hand rubbing my back, comforting me slightly. I had a million questions buzzing about in my head. I wanted to yell at him, scream, stamp his foot, maybe run my bicycle over him, instead of ramming into the lampost. Instead, I settled for a calmer option.

"From where?" my voice broke a little, as I remembered how he'd left without a word, just a text message: I will be back. It sounded like a promise, and I had to wait two months for his return. Two months. That was enough to have two periods, have 8 Sundays' worth of ice-cream, many days' worth of crying and thinking.

Thinking was usually the worst part. It'd normally lead to the ice-cream, then the crying. And more thinking. Wondering, asking questions that never seemed to have answers. I barely remember sleeping. Somehow, during those two months, I was glad my mom was away often. She didn't like the idea of living me home alone. Especially since she never saw me leave the house except for school ever since...Adam left. I was careful to put on a smile whenever I was near people. But mom saw through me sometimes, she tried asking what was wrong. But the look I gave her silenced her; perhaps she knew what it was like.

My room became my sanctuary. A place where I could express myself freely without questions being hurled at me from all directions. By expressing myself, I meant crying. I had no idea my tear ducts were that active, I mean, where are they all coming from? Mom was thoughtful enough to leave meals outside my room, not like I touch them. Sure, I picked at the meat, and only finished what I could. I didn't want to kill myself. Just wasn't in the mood to do anything else but mope. I did a lot of thinking while I was in my room too, and I finished my homework faster than in the past. Getting into trouble with the teachers would not help with anything. Everything went on as per normal, just that I was without Adam.

He shifted a little, his hand tilting my chin upwards to face him. I let my eyes take in his face, his personable features. He managed a small, crooked smile, which made his dimple danced in and out of his cheek ever so slightly. I ruffled his dark brown hair, my hand tracing his jawline. His lips twitched a little as I stroked his upper lip, then he leaned in, and pecked me on the lips ever so softly, once, twice. I blinked, and my eyes widened, my body stiffened as he kissed me again, this time with more urgency. My lips began to respond to his, my arms grasping him tightly, a hand pushing his head nearer to mine, fingers entangled in his soft locks.

Adam pulled away, as soon we both started to pant for air, cuddling me on his lap. Too soon, I thought. His lips could still be felt on mine. I held a finger to my lips, as though trying to use my fingers to replace his lips, snuggling into his broad chest. I heard a barely audible sigh.

"We need to figure out a way to do this..." he murmured into my hair, his arms in a protective vise, not letting me go. I liked the way he said "we". It made me feel as though I belonged to him, and him, me. Though the childish thought was ridiculous, I couldn't help but feel that bizarre surge of happiness flow through me.

The sweet taste of reunion lingered in the air, and I forgot what I had wanted to ask him. I realised I was perspiring profusely. Weird, I thought, it's supposed to be cool and windy today. My palm, which was placed on his chest, started to burn. I pulled my hand away quickly, blowing on it.

"Ow! Are you running a fever or something?"

Using the back of my hand, I touched his forehead. It burned my hand with the same feverish heat I felt on his chest. Adam grinned sheepishly, "I'm fine, really. Uhm..." he played with my hair absentmindedly, twirling the short strands about his finger, "I'll have to explain why I went away in the first place...and now's not a good time."

I raised both my eyebrows skeptically, and along with the curiousity came realisation; I'd been wanting to ask...why he'd left, and return only two months later. He did mention he would explain, right? Suddenly, he crushed me to his warm body as though he heard my thoughts, lips placed softly by my ear, "I promise never to leave you again, ever!"

I could hear the fierce determination and absolute promise in his voice, and I believed him. His grip loosened ever so slightly, to allow me space to breathe. I took in his scent; he smells of the sun and the grass, like Mother Nature. We sat under the tree for a long time in amicable silence, just relishing in the luscious feeling of being together.

"You do solemnly promise to tell me why you left?" I questioned, still able to feel the pain that would arise whenever I thought of his departure.

He nodded. I looked up, into his eyes. I missed his eyes, his alluring grey eyes. Perhaps it was my imagination, but it seemed slightly darker, and it was pained. The pain in his eyes was unbearable; I tightened my hug around him and without knowing how or when, I fell asleep in his arms.

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R&R and I'll love you and your mom and your dad. :D

Thank You: All who read and pointed out my errors.


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